Episode 52: [Fun] You might be a real estate investor if…

Danny Johnson / 3 comments

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We’ve all heard those Jeff Foxworthy jokes about how you might be a redneck if you…

For example:

  • You think “loading the dishwasher” means getting your wife drunk.
  • You own a homemade fur coat.
  • You think a chain saw is a musical instrument.
  • You read the Auto Trader with a highlight pen.

you might be a tow mater

That’s funny right there! – Tow Mater

What might make you a real estate investor…

We as real estate investors have our own quirks and situations that make us who we are. These are the things that create a special bond between us.

If you find yourself nodding and laughing at the following truisms, well…you just might be a real estate investor.

I’m afraid I haven’t found a cure for it so you’re tough out of luck. 😉

You might be a real estate investor if…

  • you have a thousand keys and you have no idea which house they belong to.
  • you buy every directional sign in stock at home depot, then go to another home depot and buy their stock.
  • you are proud of your lockbox collection.
  • you happily sit on urine-stained couches. (cheers to Rob Caldwell for this one)
  • you will jump up from the dinner table to answer your phone because you don’t want to miss a deal.
  • you understand Ron Legrand on a deeper level when he says, “don’t go driving through a war zone in your fancy car wearin’ lots of jewelry!”
  • you get excited by the sight of feces on the floor throughout a house.
  • you have done the shake-it-all-about-hokey-pokey dance all over the street trying to get all of the fleas off of you.
  • you know exactly what is meant by being embarrassed by your offer.
  • you just have to see the inside of that REO, don’t want to bother the agent, and decide that you and your wife need to crawl through a window, only to have 3 police cars swarm the front of the house within just 2 or 3 minutes.
  • the top 5 called people on your phone are your wife followed by nothing but contractors.
  • you have more pictures of nasty houses than family and friends in your phone.
  • you’ve nearly run over people and hit parked cars because you craned your neck to get the address of a house you just passed.
  • you no longer consider so-so neighborhoods dangerous because you’ve seen the furthest end of the spectrum.
  • your kids tell you you are obsessed with houses.
  • your kids say they don’t want to go and look at anymore houses every time you leave the house together.
  • you laugh when someone tells you their house doesn’t need any repairs or updating on the phone.
  • you can’t help but look at the ceilings and walls looking for mistakes at friends and family members’ houses when you visit them.
  • you have nightmares that you completely forgot about a house you bought and it’s been sitting their vacant and being vandalized for over a year.
  • you are constantly surprised at how some people can live.
  • you’ve seen a toilet that you wouldn’t want to get within 10 feet of…daily.
  • you will do anything to not have to replace the cabinets.
  • you spend an hour debating between two faucets at home depot but will decide to buy a house within 5 minutes.
  • you are stilling reading this post and are looking forward to seeing what other investors have added in the comments. 🙂

Join In!

Leave your additions to this post in the comments below. Let’s grow this list so that we have something to turn to for a laugh when contractors frustrate us.

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3 awesome responses to “Episode 52: [Fun] You might be a real estate investor if…”

  1. Mom on

    Great job, Dan! Really enjoyed listening to your podcast. Love you!!