There were some posts on the flipping houses forums that were in the same vein as ‘you might be a redneck if’… I really enjoyed the posts and decided to post my own and ask for yours. Enjoy and please contribute in the comments.
You know you are a real estate investor when:
…you have a thousand keys and you have no idea which house they belong to.
…you buy every directional sign in stock at Home Depot, then go to another Home Depot and buy their stock.
…you are proud of your lockbox collection.
…when you just have to see the inside of that REO, don’t want to bother the agent, and decide that you and your wife need to crawl through a window, only to have 3 police cars swarm the front of the house within just 2 or 3 minutes.
…the top 5 called people on your phone (automatically marked ‘favorites’ on my old droid2) are your wife followed by nothing but contractors.
…when you can wear a Hawaiian shirt everyday. (I bought one to wear for when I went full-time, but just never ended up wearing it. :()
…when you can decide to buy a house within 5 minutes, but you struggle for days with what shoes to buy or what to eat for lunch.
…when you go to a company lunch and everyone leaves quickly and you are the last one sitting there because you don’t have to go back to work, but you are excited about taking phone calls at 10:00 at night.
…when your four year old daughter is on a first name basis with all of the people at the title company and they keep all of her favorite snacks stocked.
…your best friend is your real estate agent.
…your idea of a nice Sunday drive with the family is rolling through the hood looking for dilapidated properties.
…your kids tell you you are obsessed with houses (they actually used to say ‘assessed’ which made sense to me!)
…people are constantly asking you when you are going to get your own TV show.
…you have a habit of looking for slight imperfections in your friends and family’s houses.
…a romantic Friday night is watching ‘Flip Men’ with your wife and a glass of wine.
…you make an offer of $1,000 for a house and still worry that it is too much.
…you come across people that have pumped concrete underneath their pier and beam house to create a ‘slab’ foundation.
…you buy a house and think the smell is from dogs only to find out it was the smell of a decaying body.
…you wonder if everyone that sees you rolling through the hood is thinking that you are a drug dealer (or undercover cop).
…you really, fully experience a hoarding house first hand (the smell and sheer filthiness).
…everyone you know asks for references for contractors and you refuse to refer any.
We are looking forward to see what you all come up with. 🙂Next: Are You a Flip Pilot?
-when your wife is breast feeding your 1 week old in a home depot isle while picking out tile.
-your newborn has spent more time in home depot than any other location besides your own home.
-the home depot hot dog vender is your preferred lunch stop. (even when not buying something)
-you congratulate yourself for spending less than $50 at Lowes.
-you managed to fit 3 shovels, a toolbox, 6 bags of mulch, landscape fabric, and 50 foot of 3/4 inch hose into a Prius and still have room for the wife and kid.
-you can name 3 electricians off the top of your head, but have to look up the barbershop
-you have talked to tenants enough that you start referring to yourself in the 3rd person.
-every third conversation starts with, this one house I owned
-when you know more about your realtor than most of your friends.
-you have been honked at more than once for driving 5 mph in 25 mph zone.
-when someone gives you there address and you can picture more than three homes on that street.
-when you cuss out your computer screen after seeing a wholesalers “fixup” and “ARV”
-when your 12 mile drive home from work turns into a 25 mile zig zag.
-you can recite the value of a home in any neighborhood based on a few dimensions, but have no idea the value of your own car.
-you know the location of materials at home depot and lowes better than their own staff.
Fun list Danny. Hope to see some more.
Thanks for the additions to the list, Jason. These are great.
My favorite: -you have talked to tenants enough that you start referring to yourself in the 3rd person.
🙂 I lol’d when I read that one.
hahahahahahaaaa love it.
I’m sure you’ve probably got some.
I thought more folks would pipe in.
My favorite is the Hawaiian shirt. My wife swears that if I buy one, she’ll singlehandedly (even though she has 2) destroy our company, so that I’ll never think of buying one again. She was of course being quite exaggerative, but I got the point. If I buy one, it’ll have to stay hidden under the seat of my car, where she won’t go because of the old McDonald’s bags & gas station coffee cups.
Too funny! You might want to clean your car. 🙂
So now that I have a website up and getting some leads, and also working with a couple local investors doing their lead chasing…I find myself re-reading your first few weekly posts where you talk about the ones you threw out 🙂 SO much help learning to get off the phone quickly with the time wasters (especially with leads that aren’t mine. I only get paid for phone time – not much – and if a deal closes). I try to remember that 80-20 rule. 80% of the productivity comes from 20% of the activities. I may have butchered it, but I get the idea and am learning how important it is to remember. Thanks again for putting this back on the net.
That’s awesome to hear that you are making serious progress. I’m glad that you are focusing on the key points of those early posts. That’s what will give you the most leverage and staying power.
I have a couple to add:
…when the contractors seek YOU out at Home Depot parking lot at 630 in the morning
…when you go to the store and are recognized as “hey aren’t you that house guy?”
…when everyone you know with money wants you loan you some
…when you change the words in the Janis Joplin song to “Driving for Dollars”
Love this! And comments too! I will retweet.
Ha! Did I not get the memo on getting a Hawaiian shirt? Must have missed that one.
And yes, rolling through the hood gets you plenty of looks. I always thought people were thinking “what are you doing in my neighborhood!” and it made me feel uncomfortable at times. It never even crossed my mind that they might think that I was doing some dealing. Ha, and I like the idea of people thinking I’m an undercover cop!
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